Boyfriends are like those giant toy animals you see wedged against the glass of an arcade grabber machine. 

You know you don’t actually need one but before you know it there’s a giant panda in your bed and your life is enriched as a result.

But instead of beady, soulless panda eyes staring into your soul, it’s a lovely boyfriend.

And with a boyfriend comes a birthday. And with a boyfriend’s birthday comes a need to buy a cute boyfriend birthday card.

So, yes. Do that. You may be wondering, however, what to write inside a boyfriend birthday card. 

Well, I have you covered with my weird, wild, and wonderful array of heartfelt birthday wishes for a boyfriend, funny birthday wishes for a boyfriend and just plain disrespectful birthday wishes for a boyfriend. 

So, buckle up and follow me into this mess below.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend, I’m so glad you dropped into my life.

I’ll love you until the end of time. If you can put up with me for that long.

Happy Birthday darling, there’s a big space in my heart reserved especially for you.

Happy Birthday to a special boyfriend. I love you more and more each day.

To an amazing boyfriend on your birthday. Out of all the men, in all the world I was lucky enough to meet you.

Happy Birthday babe. You’re proof that the perfect boyfriend exists.

To an amazing boyfriend. I’m glad you’re just as weird as me.

Happy Birthday to a special boyfriend. I can’t wait to grow old with you.

To my wonderful boyfriend, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

You’re my boyfriend and you still make my heart beat every day.

I wish I could meet you again so I can fall in love with you twice.

To my gorgeous boyfriend, thanks for making me the happiest woman alive.

Happy Birthday to the best boyfriend in the galaxy. I’m glad we can both nerd out together.

Thanks for being the love of my life. Happy Birthday to my special boyfriend.

To an amazing boyfriend. My life is a lot better with you around.

Here’s to making new memories with you for many years to come.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. You give me a reason to smile every day.

My favourite place to be is right by your side. I Love you.

To the man daft enough to love me, you’re the best boyfriend in the world.

Happy Birthday to my gorgeous, hard working boyfriend, you deserve a special day.

I pinch myself that you’re my boyfriend every day. I’m lucky to have you, Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday to a boyfriend who doesn’t realise how happy he makes me.

I wanted to get you a romantic boyfriend card but I couldn't be arsed so take this instead.

Happy Birthday to my amazing boyfriend. Thanks for putting up with my shit.

To an acceptable boyfriend. You’ll do.

The heart wants what the heart wants. Unfortunately, it wanted Chris Hemsworth and I ended up with you. 

I know I said I wanted to be with you until you were grey but I didn’t know it was going to happen this quick.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend, you walked into my life, crept into my heart, and moved into my home. You’re bloody well everywhere. Please go away.

You’re the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. If the bar was really low and I wasn’t fussy at all. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. You deserve the whole world and more. But I’m not made of money so have this instead.

I love you more than anything else in the world. Except pizza. (Insert alternatives here)

You keep telling me I need to start spending less, so I haven’t got you anything for your birthday.

To my boyfriend, I like you enough to get you this piece of folded card.

I was looking for Prince Charming and I ended up with you. Could be worse I suppose.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. I’m the only gift you need today. (that’s code for: I’ve forgotten to buy you anything).

Happy Birthday to the smartest, sexiest person you know. Oh sorry, I mean from the smartest, sexiest person you know.

Happy Birthday Boyfriend. Here’s to another year of being honoured with my presence.

Happy Birthday to my ‘starting to look old now’ boyfriend.

I know it’s your birthday and you may be hard but all you’re getting is this folded card.

Happy Birthday Boyfriend. Every year your balls seem to sag more and more. 

If your birthday is as good as your dick, today’s going to be a massive flop.

Happy birthday to my boyfriend. You big, bumbling bag of dicks. 

Boyfriend’s an old-fashioned term so I’m just going to call you penis-on-tap. 

My knickers are off, my clothes are strewn over the bed and I’ve got something I want you to care of. So, get the bloody iron out, it's your turn. 

Happy Birthday boyfriend. I’d say thank you for the orgasms but I’m still waiting for one. 

You get on my tits the other 364 days of the year but today you can really get on my tits. 

Happy Birthday to my special boyfriend. (Insert amount of years here) ago you were sliding out of a vagina, tonight you’ll be sliding right back into one you horny devil. 

It might be your birthday but my vagina is closed. 

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. The one day of the year where I won’t joke about your tiny penis.

Happy Birthday to a special boyfriend. Can’t wait to give you a big Birthday spread. If you know what I mean.

You’re still as gay as the day I met you.

To my special boyfriend, I love you from top to bottom.

You’re the cheese to my potato. As in, I like you on top of me.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. The only thing you’ll be blowing tonight are the candles on your cake.

In all the gay apps, in all the world, I’m glad I stumbled onto yours.

To my gorgeous boyfriend, thanks for making me the happiest man alive.

Happy Birthday to an amazing boyfriend. I wanted to get you something big and exciting for your birthday, but my penis wouldn’t fit in the envelope.

To an amazing boyfriend, I’m so glad I poked my head out of the closet and met you.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend, it’s no longer illegal to get married so you really better get a move on.

I’m not gay but my boyfriend is. Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday Babe, in gay years you’re hella old.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. You’re anally retentive, I’m anally attentive. We’re the perfect pair.

You’re the second-best boyfriend a person could have. I’m the first.

We’re the best-looking boyfriends I know.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. Love from the good-looking boyfriend.

We’re proof long distance relationships can work. Lots of sex for a few days and then I don’t have to be anywhere near you for the rest of the month.

Happy long-distance Birthday to my boyfriend. The one zoom meeting I can’t wait to attend.

Even though you’re not with me and you often work away, I love you to the moon and back and miss you every day.

Despite the great distance and the fact we’re miles apart, know that I still love you and you’re always in my heart.

Happy birthday boyfriend. I was sort of hoping for a different kind of facetime but this’ll have to do.

Happy Birthday, I still love you whatever time zone you’re in.

Happy Birthday to my long-distance boyfriend who all my friends think is either made up, a figment of my imagination or in jail.

Happy Birthday to a special Boyfriend, we may be miles apart but I feel closer to you than ever.

I can only handle you in small doses. Happy long-distance Birthday.

Distance is nothing when someone means everything. Happy Birthday to my boyfriend.

Happy Birthday to my boyfriend. I don’t know whether to be offended or not that you’re always hundreds of miles away from me.

My love for you is just as strong no matter how many miles we’re apart.

The best thing about our long-distance relationship is that I can blame postal costs for not getting you a present.

Happy long-distance birthday. I’m counting down the minutes until I see you again.

I love you no matter how many miles you are away. Happy Birthday to the best boyfriend a person could ask for.

Summary:

So, there you go, that’s your lot. I hope this has inspired your creative juices as to what funny or heartfelt messages to write inside a boyfriend birthday card next time round to make their day that extra bit special. 

While you’re here however, why not check out some of our boyfriend birthday cards below. You’re sure to find something you’ll love.

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