The Best Friend.

Hard to find in this world, but when you do, neither time nor distance can stand between you. 

From sharing inside jokes that only both of you would know, communicating across the room with simply a look, to having each other as a free therapist and partner-in-crime, they play so many important roles in your life.

And that’s why when it comes to their birthday, their day should be filled with nothing but the best of cake, booze, drunken antics and poor decision making!

But what’s the best way to start their day off? With a card of course! (Ideally, you want them to read your message before they’re too drunk to remember!) 

So, if you need a bit of inspiration for writing their card message, read on with our list of 'funny birthday quotes for best friend' below.

A good friendship must be built on a solid foundation of two things: Sarcasm and shenanigans! Why not insult them with your dry wit to and spark up that all important banter between you:

I’ll always be there to help pick you if you fall – after I’ve finished laughing first!

I’ll always be a shoulder to cry on – not literally I don’t want mascara stained on my blouse but I’m here if you need me!

It’s good knowing we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends

No matter how long we stay friends, you will always be older than me

We’ve been friends for so long I’ve forgotten which one of us is the bad influence

There’s always that one attention-seeking friend – today it’s you with your birthday!

I was so innocent before I became friends with you – Thanks for leading me on the path to crazy and inappropriate shenanigans

Even though you have questionable taste in music, are always late to everything, complain you have no money then steal my food – you are still the best friend I could ever ask for!

I’m glad we’re friends – I literally wouldn’t have anyone else to annoy!

We both know I’m only here to get a slice of cake – but happy birthday anyway!

It would be easier to wish you a Happy Birthday on social media, but seeing as you’re my ‘best friend’ you deserve an upgrade of a card

Dearest Best Friend, this is more than just a card – there’s an envelope with it too!

Whether it all started at a bar, a wedding or just a quiet drink at home, alcohol really is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to sharing those funny stories between friends:

Every year I look forward to the hilarious new drunk stories we’ll have thanks to your inability to handle alcohol

Thanks for having no filter when you’re drunk – or when you’re sober too actually!

Pop, pour, clink, cheers, woooo, dancefloor! – just a quick timeline of stages we’ll reach tonight if alcohol is involved

Time to drink to forget how old you are! Happy Birthday Mate

The best cocktails are the ones you drink with friends – and the shots you don’t remember having are the best friend’s doing!

If you don’t drink on your birthday, how will I know you love me at 3am?

Best friends are the ones who pour drinks like they’re trying to kill you, but will always be there to scoop you off the pavement to carry you home

Of course, we’re friends who drink responsibly – we never let the other spill a drop!

Best friends are to the soul, what alcohol is to fun!

A good friend is like a good bra – always full of support

I may not care if your house is clean – but I do care if you have wine!

Another year older and you’re still the pretty one! Dammit!

I’m so glad we share a mutual hatred of exercise, stupid questions and certain people we know!

I’m so glad I’ve found someone who matches my energy – it means we can get thrown out of bars and clubs together!

Dirty-minded, joined at the hip and absolutely hilarious – no wonder we’re best friends!

You’re like the Patsy to my Edie! Happy Birthday to my absolutely fabulous best friend!

You know how I know you’re older? because you can start a round of applause with just your tits! Stay classy bestie!

You had me at “I hate her too!” Happy Birthday to my soul sister!

Hoping tonight you pull a man that can keep up with our level of weirdness!

Thanks for always telling me if I have a VPL, nip slip, or spinach in my teeth – you are best friend goals!

‘Living our best life’ means realising we are too old for this shit and we should probably be in bed by 9pm

Thanks for being the only friend I would wee in a bathroom stall with.

Forever laughing at our taste in men – and wishing it was as good as our taste in gin!

Beer, banter and a best mate are birthday essentials! So, write out a jokey message that will leave your mate howling:

You deserve to be on a booze cruise right now mate! But thanks to inflation, a round of drinks will have to do!

So… it’s your birthday so we should celebrate …I dunno, pub?

You get the drinks in – I’ll pay you back later! (Either on the taxi ride home or via some crisps in my cupboards)

Happy Birthday Bro, we really need to start working on our six packs asap!

This is just a manly card just to say I bloody love you mate!

Happy Birthday to a brilliant pal! Any chance I could have this card back so I can re-gift it?

Just sending you a card to try and be a good person by acknowledging your birthday – and no I didn’t get you a present – that shits expensive!

To me, you’re a best mate, but to the world…you’re a cunt! Happy Birthday

Don’t go thinking there’s any money in this card – you still owe me a tenner!

Can’t think of anyone better than to sit in a pub and chat shit with! Happy Birthday Mate

You’re at the age where you can either turn into a sophisticated old gent…or just a nob head! Choose wisely!

Well done for being born many years ago…such an achievement

You’re like the Rodney to my Del-Boy – always there so I can wind you up!

The man, the myth, the wanker! Happy Birthday Have a brilliant one!

It may be shit living so far away from each other but at least on those odd occasions where you do see your bestie, you know things haven’t changed between you. 

Why not let them know your humour hasn’t changed by choosing one of these messages below:

Hope you’re having a great birthday and just remember you can call me if things are a bit shit

We live so far apart because the world can’t handle our chaos and awesomeness!

There’s no distance that can make you forget me – why do you think I’m sending you this card?

Oh, it’s your birthday and you thought you wouldn’t hear from me? you can never escape my messages – I plan to annoy you near or far!

Because I’m not there on your birthday you need to drink double the drinks, double the shots and double the slices of cakes so it’s like I’m there with you!

Happy Birthday I still plan to call you later and annoyingly sing down the end of the phone to you!

I’m jealous of the people who get to see you drunk on your birthday!

Usually, I just send you funny cat videos and memes …but this year you get a card!

I miss napping, overeating and drinking with you …and I miss your face! Hope your birthday is as miserable as I am!

Can’t wait to visit you soon! I promise to go with whatever lie you’ve told your new friends in order to make you look sophisticated!

No matter the occasion, it’s obvious that the banter between best friends just cannot be matched! 

So, whatever way you find appropriate to celebrate your friend’s birthday, we hope you’ve found that perfect bestie quote or funny birthday joke from this list!

And whilst you’re here, why not browse our own selection of funny friend birthday cards and find something that will get you both laughing!