Ahh a Best Friend! From being a ray of sunshine in your life and making the pact that you will always be besties for life– you thought they would never leave your side. 

That is, until they go off into the world, find love, find a relationship and now you hear the joyful, yet gut-wrenching news that they’re about to get married! (*gasps* traitor!)

How could they do this to you? I mean you had a pact, right?! 

But when the jealousy starts to fade and the silver lining prospect of free booze and cake starts to sound appealing, you then start to realise that they really do deserve a lifetime of happiness (and a warning of what they’re getting into!)

So, whilst you’re thinking about how many champagne glasses you’re willing to chug down for the day, why not browse our list of funny best friend getting married quotes and sarcastic wedding wishes to write in their wedding card.

After all, tears of laughter are ten times better than just plain ole tears of happiness anyway!

You can’t call it a wedding without downing a few drinks throughout the night! Why not include a short statement or a memory of your drunken antics together?

You’re getting married – and I’m getting drunk!

I cannot wait to get shitfaced and dance badly at your wedding!

Marriage is based on 3 things: love, friendship and plenty of booze!

Happy Wedding Day! (Now where’s the cake and champers?)

I’m guessing the dress code is clothes ON this time?

Time to drink champagne and dance on tables… …and party ‘til we face-plant the floor!

Weddings bring out the best in people…well until the alcohol is served

This was better than your usual “trip down the aisle” of shopping for gin!

…Sooo I’m guessing we won’t be getting the same level of wankered like we did for your stag? #keepingitclassy

You’re probably reading this at a time when drunken antics and poor decisions were made last night so I just wanted to say sorry… …but what do you expect from an open bar? Cheers for an ace night

Weddings are a great way to remind you that you should have brought a plus one! So let your best friend know how much you intend to be their forever third wheel.

Thanks for reminding me I’m alone, I mean congratulations!

Congrats on finding love! I guess I’ll be the crazy cat lady for both of us now!

Look at you two getting all married and shit! I’m so so so happy for you and not at all jealous or depressed… p.s. if you need me, I’ll be crying into my piece of wedding cake!

Congrats on getting married! p.s. I’m always here if you change your mind!

Thanks for reminding me of all the money I’ll be saving by not getting married!

Go on. Give them the unsolicited advice they deserve

You may have found your Mr right but just remember you’re his Mrs ALWAYS right!

Marriage is all about annoying that one special person for the rest of your lives – congratulations 

You will have moments where you really love each other, then other times when you can’t decide what to have for dinner

Married life is just standing in the way of kitchen doors and cupboards and other ways of unintentionally pissing the other one off

Just remember: Your kids will grow up and move out but your husband won’t – so congrats on your forever child!

Just remember “yes dear” are the magic words to get you out of a lot of arguments

Marriage is about two people where one is always right and the other is the husband

Friendship trumps relationships! Let them know that you are better than their partner any day!

Happy Wedding Day – Thank God you’ve found someone else to annoy now!

Wow! You’re married - and there’s me thinking you’d be single forever! (I think I owe people some money!)

Wow, so someone clearly didn’t follow the ‘chicks before dicks’ rule…I mean congrats on the new husband!

I hope your partner knows they’re marrying me as well, right? – it’s best friends FOR LIFE!

Congratulations on your new journey bestie- let me know if this whole marriage thing is worth it!

The funny thing is… he really doesn’t know what he’s letting himself in for with you!

Why keep it polite? Just throw out an insult or two and make your intentions about marriage perfectly clear.

Keep calm…  and just don’t do it!

The ball and chain got you in the end

Congrats on tying the knot! That shits hard to untangle!

Wedding Wankers

I’m just here for the free food and booze

Shit just got real!

You two weirdos found each other in the end

Good luck putting up with each other

Definitely needed a good night out! – sorry I mean wedding! Congrats

You know you didn’t have to say YES right?

Well hasn’t this day been all romantic and shit?

‘Til death do us Party!

So, there you have it. A few sarcastic messages you could include in their card as they embark on their newly married life with their spouse – and don’t worry once the honeymoon phase is well and truly over, they’ll be begging you to meet up for a drink soon enough!

Whatever humour route you decide to go down, I hope it’s sparked some creativity to make your wedding card message so successful, you won’t even need to put money in it because the jokes will be priceless!

Whilst you’re here, why not browse of our range of wedding cards to find something to suit to the happy couple