Forty years of marriage is a bit like stumbling across an old, forgotten movie you used to love, it’s a depressing yet quite an impressive reminder of your age, sprinkled with pangs of joy and fond memories of the laughter and happiness you felt the first time around.

I don’t really know where that analogy was going, it was a bit rubbish; but what isn’t rubbish is our list of funny 40-year anniversary quotes to spice up those romantic greetings.  

Take your pick:

We survived our 40th year together!

We’ve been together for four decades. That’s four decades too long if you ask me.

Happy 40th anniversary to the best decision you ever made.

40 wonderful years together, for me anyway. I don’t know about you.

Happy 40th anniversary from one old fart to another.

To my parents on your 40th anniversary. Please no PDA.

Happy 40th anniversary to my darling jewel, the light of my life, my entire world. We’ve done 40 years of these, you should know all the guff by now.

You’ve always been a beautiful couple but after 40 years together you come to expect some wear and tear.

Happy 40th year together! We’ve had four decades to learn each other’s imperfections. (And point them out every single day).

Our 40 years together really prove one thing, people will settle for any old tat.

Happy 40th anniversary. One minute we’re young, hip, and cool, the next we’re in bed at 7pm watching reruns of Midsummer Murders.

Happy 40-year anniversary to the two beasts who managed to produce a beautiful child like me.

40 years of fun, fun, f- oh no that’s not you two is it, I’m thinking of a much happier couple.

Happy ruby anniversary to a right pair of old jewels.

A 40th wedding anniversary is a bit like when you get called for a prostate exam, it stings a bit and it’s a reminder you’re getting old.

Happy ruby wedding anniversary; extremely strong, very hard, not quite on par with diamond and full of imperfections. Sums up our marriage quite well.

It’s hard to think we’ve been married for 40 years. Mainly because I’m trying very hard to forget.

Here’s a card for your 40th wedding anniversary. I’m sending all my sympathy at this difficult time.

Love, romance, and effort are some of the best qualities in a relationship. After 40 years of marriage, you’d have thought you’d have got some of them by now.

Rubies are red, violets are blue, I can’t believe I’m still bloody married to you.

Happy 40-year wedding anniversary.to the one who has tolerated me for four decades.

40 years ago you decided that the best course of action in your life was to tether yourself to me forever. Are you quite well? 

Our marriage is forty years old and still in prime working condition. It just creaks a bit here and there.

Happy 40th wedding anniversary, our marriage has reached the age of comfortable slippers, meals on wheels and frequent drooling.

To my wife on our happy 40-year anniversary, here’s to four decades of being under the thumb.

Happy 40th anniversary husband, I’m the salt to your pepper. I make things sweeter; you make people wince and sneeze. 

Happy 40th anniversary to my wife, there’s nobody else I’d have rather irritated for 40 years. 

I was trying to find some funny 40th year anniversary wishes for a husband but none of them could adequately describe quite how much of a clown you are.

Happy ruby anniversary to my wife. Rubies were expensive so I got you this piece of folded card instead.

I can’t believe we’ve been married for forty years. It just goes to show, a husband is for life and not just a cool accessory for the wedding day. 

Happy anniversary to the missus. If I’d have known then what it would be like living with you for forty years I’d have run for the hills done it all over again in a heartbeat.

Happy ruby anniversary hubby. You might be old, grey, creaky, tired all the time, the tiniest bit incontinent and insufferable to sleep next to but I’m glad you’re my husband.

Here’s to four decades of being my wife and not killing me in my sleep yet.

40 years of being my husband and I’ve not traded you in yet for a younger model. You must be doing something right.

Summary:

There we have it, our list of Happy 40-year anniversary quotes to uplift, insult or make your other half laugh their dentures out on your romantic day. 

Whether it’s some 40-year anniversary quotes for the wife you’re after or a ruby wedding anniversary wish for your best friends, whatever it is, we’ve got you covered. 

Thanks for stopping by!

PS Feel free to check out our utterly splendid range of funny (and sometimes a little rude) anniversary cards here.