Birthday Wishes For Sister Funny

Birthday Wishes For Sister Funny

Birthday Wishes For Sister Funny

A sister is for life, not just for Christmas. 

You’ve got to care for them, love them, nurture them, and help them grow. 

Like a sort of chatty, appendaged house plant that you aren’t allowed to let die by accidentally leaving it in a darkened room with no water for two weeks whilst you go sunning yourself in Cyprus.

But that’s enough about me (R.I.P. Ned the philodendron) the most important thing that you have to do for a sister whether they are big or little is insult them (a little bit) and of course make them laugh on their birthday

It’s even in the commandments somewhere. Go and have a look. I might be wrong. How do you insult them, you ask? Well via the medium of birthday card of course.

I am here to help you think of what funny things to write in a birthday card for a sister

Come with me as we explore my wacky array of funny birthday wishes and suggestions to wish your sister a very happy birthday.

Attractive Sibling Sister Quote
Happy Birthday Sister from the attractive sibling.​​

Generic Funny Birthday Quotes For Sister

  • To a special sister, I love you enough to give it a good thinking through if you ever needed my kidney.
  • Happy Birthday to the most annoying sibling.
  • To a sister who is just as awesome as she was last year. So not very awesome then.
  • Me being your brother is the only gift you need, let's face it.
  • Happy Birthday Sis, how does it feel living in the Bermuda triangle? My belongings always seem to find their way into your room and then are never seen again.
  • Happy Birthday Sis, I’m sorry I can’t be there today but we all know I’d have upstaged you.
  • God, imagine hogging all the attention just because you were born today. Jokes, you get it from me. Love you Sis.
  • Happy Birthday Sister from the attractive sibling.
  • Thanks for being born so far away from my birthday so I don’t have to share the spotlight.
  • Happy Birthday Sis, you’re the Ronnie to my Roxy. I just hope we don’t both die a horrible death in a swimming pool.
  • She’s gorgeous, she’s caring, the whole world loves her and she’s really going places. But that’s enough about me, here’s your card sis.
Folded Card Funny Sister Birthday Wishes
Happy Birthday to my sister. I love you enough to get you this folded piece of card.​​
  • I was going to say I love you more than anything in the world but garlic bread exists. So it’s garlic bread, then you.
  • Happy Birthday Sis, it’s been hard putting up with you all these years.
  • I’m just going to write ‘God bless you on your birthday sister’ so it sounds like I’m talking to a nun.
  • Happy Birthday to a special sister. You’re really pretty…good at being the less attractive sibling. Keep it up!
  • I couldn’t think of anybody more deserving of a special day, other than perhaps me.
  • Happy Birthday to an amazing sister. If you fall I’ll be there to pick you up, as quickly as possible. Purely to make sure nobody saw you drop, you embarrassing pleb. 
  • Happy Birthday to my sister. You’re growing on me…like a horrible rash.
  • I wish you were a long, lost sister. Just anything to make you a little bit more interesting.

Funny Big Sister Birthday Wishes

  • Happy Birthday to my big sister, if being attractive was a crime, you’d be a law-abiding citizen and I’d be writing this from jail.
  • Happy Birthday to my sister. You’re growing into a sensible, mature young lady. That’s so tragic you boring fart.
  • To my older sister on her Birthday. There’s not that many people who still look beautiful at your age. So at least you’re not alone.
  • Happy Birthday Sis. I’m the Toy Story 3 to your Toy Story 1. As in, I’m far superior in every way.
  • You can have this birthday card for a few minutes then I need to borrow it like absolutely everything else that you own.
  • To a much, much, much, much older sister on her 50th. (Insert age here).
  • You may have been the first born but I slid out like the best sequel ever made.
LimaLima Promotion
Grab yourself a bargain and stock up on greeting cards. Buy 3 for £5.00 or 10 for £10. Worldwide shipping from the UK.​​ 
  • I don’t mind that you’re queen for the day it suits you. Grey hair, wrinkles, looks a hundred years old.
  • Happy Birthday to my much older sister. Do you want me to get the iron out for those wrinkles?
  • Happy Birthday sis. As we age I’m so glad you’ll always be the older sister.

Funny Birthday Wishes For A Little sister

  • Happy Birthday to the second favourite child.
  • Happy Birthday Sister. You’re so lucky to have such an amazing older brother.
  • Happy Birthday to Mom and Dad’s best accident. Oops I wasn’t supposed to say that.
  • You’re the second-best thing that’s plopped out of our mom’s womb.
Irritate Quote
I’m very glad you were born. It gave me someone to irritate.​​
  • To my little sister, I’d say your birthday outfit looks original but you’re probably wearing all of my clothes.
  • Happy Birthday to the bootleg, second place, inferior offspring of our parents.
  • Having a little sister is a bit like having an Alexa, an annoying voice that goes off randomly from time to time but in the end comes in marginally useful. (You also get to shout at it when it’s being a pest).
  • To an amazing sister. The only annoying brat I can stand to be around.
  • Happy Birthday Sister. I’ve borrowed a bit of everything from all your presents as payback.

Funny Birthday Wishes For A Step Sister And Sister-In-Law

  • Happy Birthday to the evil stepsister.
  • To the best sister from another mister.
  • Happy Birthday to the stepsister I never asked for but was glad to get.
  • Happy Birthday to my stepsister, a woman lucky enough to have avoided my family’s dodgy genetics.
  • To my stepsister, you’re the second-best thing that happened to this family. After me.
  • Happy Birthday from your favourite stepbrother. Also, your only stepbrother.
Sister-In-Law Funny Birthday Quote
Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law. A woman brave enough to voluntarily live with my dunce of a brother/sister. (Change as applicable)​​
  • I bet you didn’t think it was going to be this chaotic marrying into our family.
  • To an amazing sister-in-law. Yes, it’s too late to run.
  • Happy Birthday to my sister-in-law. Here’s to bitching about my brother.

Quotes For Twins

  • Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to me. We’re twinning!
  • I might only be a few seconds older but that still means I’m the boss sister.
  • Happy Birthday to my favourite twin.
  • We might be identical but somehow I’m the attractive twin.
  • Happy Birthday to my twin sister. At least we don’t need a mirror to practise our fake ‘this is a lovely present’ face.
  • Happy Birthday to my twin sis. Here’s to getting smashed and seeing quadruple tonight! 
  • Happy Birthday to both of us but mainly to me.

How about some expert poetry that would have Edgar Allan Poe running scared?

Dear sister it’s your birthday, I hope it goes without a hitch,

Regardless of the fact that you’re a complete and utter…pain.


You’re my older sister and now that you’re mature,

I’m getting very eager for you to walk straight out the door.

Go and get your own place and stop annoying me,

As soon as your big ass is gone, I’ll finally be free.


Happy Birthday to my sis, you’re looking older every day,

Soon you’ll have no teeth and hair that’s filled with nowt but grey.


But don’t worry because I’ll love you, until you’re very old,

Until you’ve got new hips and knees and your pants are filled with mould.

I won’t be too offensive, I’ll keep this pretty mild,

With love to you my sister, from our parents’ favourite child.



So, there we have it. We hope we’ve sparked off your imagination as to what funny things to write in a sister's birthday card and if we haven't, well it’s been a nice way to spend a few minutes I suppose.

Thanks for reading regardless and while you’re here, why not browse some of our funny birthday cards for sisters here

We have a very wide range available (although we are currently a bit short on the heart touching wishes at the moment) and you’re sure to find something perfect for the special lady. Give them a little look and thanks for stopping by. 

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