The number 65 is an interesting one; not divisible by 2, one less than 66 and is the smallest integer that can be expressed as a sum of two distinct positive squares (I have no idea what that means but it sounds fascinating doesn’t it?)

Today however, it’s being used in a different context. 

There is somebody in your life who is possibly just days away from turning 65. That’s rough. They’re on the very cusp of being an OAP; saggy jowls, hip replacements, pissing everywhere. It’s hard to swallow (as it were).

But no matter, stay where you are; keep your eyes fixed firmly on the screen because boy do we have something for you. 

A handy, lucky, luscious, loquacious list of quotes for you to pop in a 65th Birthday Card, suitable for a variety of different acquaintances, relatives, friends etc. of any gender, sexuality, or persuasion. 

We have you covered; Let’s go.

Age is just a number…but let’s be honest 65 is a pretty big one. 

Happy 65th Birthday, let’s see that Dunkirk spirit. 

You’re halfway to 130. 

You’re now officially an OAP. 

Your bus pass is in the post. 

Letter from the queen soon is it? 

You were born in 1957? That’s like ancient times. 

Happy 65th Birthday. It’s now acceptable for you to pretend your hearing is going and ignore absolutely everybody. 

One step closer to heaven. 

A 65th Birthday is like a solar eclipse; it takes years to get around to it and you’ll never see another one again. 

You’re six and a half decades old. 

You’ve been on this planet for six decades and all I got you was this crap card. 

Turning 65 means you’re officially the Grandad/Grandma of the friendship group. 

Turn on the prehistoric channel, David Attenborough has just dug you up! 

You’re only as old as you feel but to be fair you look like you feel pretty old. 

65 is the time of your life where you start considering who exactly you’re going to haunt. 

Look on the bright side, just 4 years away from being 69 you randy old dog. 

You’ve got a few more years until your willy stops working altogether. 

You’re still as sexy at 65. 

Still just as gay 65 years on. 

You have officially earned your 65-year-old Lesbian badge. 

Get your Zimmer frame out, we’re going to paint the town grey. 

Make sure your knickers don’t fall down when you’re climbing on the tables tonight. 

65 years old! Your danglers must be dragging across the floor by now. 

65’s the age you start intentionally taking more metal objects through security. 

65 is the time of your life when you start to show more interest in the comfy bed linen than anything else when watching an adult film.

You’re officially a loose woman. In more ways than one. 

Happy 65th Birthday you old cougar. 

Time to cake that makeup on to stop you looking like a crumpled piece of A4. 

To my favourite young lady on her 65th Birthday. 

You’re not old, just maturing gracefully. 

You’re still one cool chick at 65 years old. 

It’s hard to find a partner at your age who’s got humour, sexiness, and intelligence. Luckily you’ve got enough for two. 

Inside every old woman, there’s a young person thinking ‘Jesus Christ, what happened?’ 

You’re Wonder Woman because you must be wondering how the hell you’re 65 years old.

Happy 65th Birthday, time to wheel out the Viagra. 

It’s now socially acceptable for you to be called a Grandad. 

Happy 65th Birthday, try not to trip over your balls. 

Living in the fast lane at your age means choosing what mobility scooter to buy. 

You’re now a 65-year-old Man. Looks like it’s a golf membership, comfortable slippers, and creaking joints from now on. 

They say that Men can’t multitask but at 65 you’ll be sneezing, pissing, and farting all at the same time. 

Turning 65 means your hair now resembles Phillip Schofield. 

Great Men age like a fine wine, it’s a pity you’ve aged like gone-off Milk. 

The only muscles you work out nowadays are the ones you use to squint at everything.

Life begins at 65. 

Being young is overrated. 

Another year older means another year more mischievous. 

65 years of perfection. 

To my perfect 65-year-old Mom/Dad/Grandad/Grandmother/Sister/Brother etc. (delete as applicable). 

It’s your 65th Birthday and I guess it’s time to say, you’re a very special person, in every single way. 

You’ve still got a twinkle in your eye 65 years on. You’re my favourite 65-year-old.

Happy 65th Birthday Dad, it’s now my turn to clean up your dribble. 

Perfect Mom: Made in 1957. 

Happy 65th Birthday. (Swap out for Mom, Brother, Sister etc.) 

To my wonderful Mom on your 65th Birthday. 

Happy 65th Birthday Dad, you old fogey. 

Happy 65th Birthday Mom. Time to start looking for care homes. 

Thank you for helping me out financially through the years Dad, so I now have enough spare cash to put you in an old people’s home. 

Happy 65th Birthday To an amazing Mother and Grandmother (Or Father/Grandfather). 

Your Dad jokes are about 65 years out of date. 

Mom, I owe you so much but at your age you don’t need it, so here’s a piece of folded card. 

Dad, you still look like a spring chicken, from a long, long, long, long way away. 

Mom you bathed me, rocked me, fed me from a bottle and wiped up my shit. So now I guess it’s my turn. 

Happy 65th Birthday Dad, thanks for not giving me any of your ugly genes.

In Summary:

So, there we go. We hope this list of quotes has sparked some imagination as to what to possibly write in your 65th Birthday cards. 

Whether you go down the offensive and insulting route (the best one in my opinion) or the delightful and kind route, there’s something here for everyone. Speaking of which, whilst we have your attention why not check out a few of our options below: 

Feel free to browse the rest of the shop for thousands of other unique designs for every occasion imaginable. 

Thanks for stopping by. You may now continue with your day. I will allow it just this once.