They say there are plenty of fish in the sea and boy does it look like your sister has caught herself a whopper. She’s plonked it in ice, covered it in salt and thrown it down the aisle to get married.

Whether her husband is a majestic salmon or a smelly old trout, a brother-in-law of any shape, size or number of gills is deserving of a birthday card. What do I write in that birthday card though I hear you ask? Well, do not panic, I have you covered.

Pop that swimsuit on, ram that snorkel into your gob and plunge headfirst into my plethora of piffle where I'll be providing you with some funny birthday wishes for a brother-in-law.

What possessed you to voluntarily become part of this family?

Happy birthday bro-in-law. It’s nice to finally have a sensible sibling.

I always wanted a big brother; I suppose you’ll do.

You’re an absolute clown of a brother-in-law but that’s why we love you.

Happy Birthday to my bro-in-law. I’d say you were cool but for some reason you’ve chosen to tether yourself to this family forever.

A drop dead gorgeous, headstrong, talented man… is wishing their brother-in-law a happy birthday with this card.

Happy Birthday brother-in-law. I’ve finally found a worthy opponent.

Happy birthday to a brother-in-law who said ‘I do’ and is brave enough not to admit he regrets it yet.

Even annoying brothers-in-law deserve a card on their birthday.

Brother-in-law, you deserve the whole world and more on your birthday. Just not money in a card.

Bro in law we’re not even technically related and I still managed to remember your birthday. I should be getting a card really.

Happy birthday to my very, very, very old brother-in-law.

I’m getting you this card because you’re my favourite brother-in-law. You’re also my only brother-in-law but we’ll gloss over that.

A brother-in-law is a bit like a politician. You just want to give them a slap.

Happy birthday brother-in-law. I think you’re a great guy…when you’re not in my immediate vicinity.

Happy birthday big bro-in-law. They say age is just a number but in your case it’s a very big one.

Happy birthday to an amazing brother-in-law. I don’t care how stupid you are we all still love you.

Happy Birthday ‘kind of’ Bro. You’re a much nicer brother-in-law than I was expecting. 

Happy birthday to my bro in law. A guy who’s definitely punching above his weight. 

Handsome, intelligent, sophisticated are all words I’d never use to describe my brother-in-law.

I looked up funny birthday cards for a brother-in-law but then decided to get you this rubbish one instead.

Happy birthday to my big brother-in-law; chief spider catcher, bully repellent and all-round awesome guy. 

Happy birthday brother-in-law. I’m honoured you’re part of this family…so I’ve finally got someone normal to talk to.

Happy ‘reminder that you’re getting older’ day to my brother-in-law.

Happy birthday to my old brother-in-law. In dog years you’re dead.

Happy birthday brother-in-law, funny story but I’m starting to like you more than my actual siblings.

I can now confirm that you are the best brother-in-law around for miles but to be fair the bar was really, really low.

Brother-in-law you’re a saint…for not running away as fast as possible when you had the chance.

Happy Birthday brother-in-law. You’re the best thing that’s happened to this family since I was born.

Happy birthday to my brother-in-law. I was trying to think of a joke but then I remembered you live with my sister.

You deserve a medal for putting up with my sister for this long.

Happy birthday to an amazing brother-in-law. I’m glad she’s your problem now.

Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law. Congratulations on surviving another year with my sister.

I was trying to think of a funny joke for a brother-in-law but then remembered she’s probably sitting next to you right now.

Happy birthday little brother-in-law. I’m looking forward to killing you if you mess my sister around.

Happy birthday to a brother-in-law who loves me more than my sister. 

You got my annoying sister; I got an awesome brother-in-law. It’s a fair trade.

Nothing says happy birthday brother-in-law like a card taking the mickey out of my sister.

Happy Birthday to my big gay brother-in-law.

I’m so proud of you for putting up with my brother for so long.

Happy Birthday to a completely mad brother-in-law who was crazy enough to marry my brother.

Happy birthday to an amazing brother-in-law. I always knew my bro had good taste in men.

Happy birthday big bro-in-law. I didn’t think our family could get any gayer and then you strolled in.

Happy birthday to a brother-in-law who likes me more than his husband.

Happy birthday to an amazing brother-in-law. I’m honoured you’re part of this family.

Happy birthday to the proof that my sister has exceptional taste in men.

Thanks for being such a cool brother-in-law, you’re the brother I never got but always wanted.

Thank you for being the best brother-in-law a person could ask for.

Happy birthday to the brother-in-law with the kindest face, the biggest heart and the best hugs.

Happy birthday brother-in-law. Thanks for making my sister/brother the happiest person on the planet.

To a brother-in-law who makes the world a better place. Have a sensational birthday.

Gather round and let’s have some beers, for putting up with my sister for all these years.

I say it but it’s in no way true that I’m thankful to have a brother-in-law like you.

You’re my brother-in-law and for that I’m glad, even though marrying into this family makes you completely mad.

Brother-in-law, it’s clear to see, that you’ve never had a bro as cool as me,

Nights out with our fam end in epic scenes and your kids will have a dose of our amazing genes. So, I’m writing this to hereby say, as part of this family you’re allowed to stay but don’t let these compliments go to your head, you’ll never be the cool bro until I’m dead.

When you married into this family, we thought you were mad, especially Mom but most of all dad. But now you’re here and intending to stay, we wouldn’t have our family any other way

Summary:

So there you go, whether you’re after a funny brother-in-law birthday quote, a sweet birthday wish or even a naff brother-in-law poem, we hope we’ve got you covered.

While we’ve got you here, why not check out some of our funny birthday cards below. 

Pick your favourite card, pick your favourite birthday quote from this list and you’ve got yourself an amazing gift for your brother-in-law. 

Or as I like to call him, everybody’s favourite smelly old trout. 

Thanks for stopping by.